New Experiences

To me it seems that some people are born ready to live and others have to learn everything and that's how I feel. It seems nothing comes easy, even the ordinary things. I'm not complaining just sharing, after all at this point I got used to whom I am. The good side is that you find joy in the process of doing new things and learning from new experiences. And as long as I feel I'm not ready for anything I go on trying different activities and having fun along the way. The latest experience was a TV show. I coudn´t believe I was select after my audition. I wasnt´t ready, but I guess I tricked people to think I was. We always want to be approved. I enjoyed the experience but didn't like my performance, of course I was still learning and only at the last day I thought I was getting it! At least now I know how it feels like in a studio (cold and bright), how is your routine (first thing is to get make up and hair done), how to prepare for a recipe (do the mise en place and talk to the productors and assistents about how you need things), how to talk and look to one of the 3 cameras at the right time. All that I learnt. But how about the fact that I wasn't ready to hear my own voice and to see myself on TV? When I was there I asked myself: Why didn't I do that laser treatment, take acting classes and vocal coaching? I thought I wasn't ready to be on TV without being ready but I learned I wasn't ready to accept myself. I could stayed out of this, instead I faced my fears. Yes, people will probably be able to see I'm not so confortable, that I'm not a natural TV chef, but I don't care. Today I watched the first episode and enjoyed it. Like I said, some people are born ready, others have to learn.

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